Happy Birthday, Boopie!

Today is, or would have been, my grandfather’s 78^th birthday and I wanted to take this time to celebrate him and share some thoughts. He passed long enough ago that he never met his great-granddaughters face to face- never saw tragedy fall on his beloved Manhattan- never aged enough to feel the impact of our country’s increasing inability to care for one another… and he would have had great words to share about it all.

I miss these words and opinions and I wish beyond most wishes that I could share more conversations with him. He had an uncanny ability to see great things in the world- to understand people and separate the struggles life delivers from the potential within. He believed people deserved the right to build their best life and understood the balance between helping others and others helping themselves.

He taught me to respect human error and forgive it, within reason and that it is imperative to take the time to understand an individual’s history and how the paths we are each on need a combination of external guidance and internal motivation.

Internal motivation was the key to his lessons– He would say we are only as strong and capable as we allow ourselves to be… that though it is easier to roll over or bury our heads, to accept the days and circumstances of life as they come and live as a victim, what benefit is there in that? What quality exists in our days without appreciation and the continued drive to make these days the best they can be?

He also knew that many people lacked these abilities, or had experienced such a high degree of struggle or turmoil in life that desperation and fear took over judgment and that was where the external guidance and understanding came in. He felt that it was our obligation to help, not do for, but assist, respect and support.   

He worked the greater part of his life at a youth development center helping kids overcome their own histories and push to achieve beyond society’s expectations. He worked to restore or establish their self-respect and helped them fight against stereotypes- against assumptions- against obstacles. He helped many and they went on to help many more.

My grandfather knew without question that we are all flawed in some natural, human way but believed in the good that lives within each of us. He was not ignorant to evils in the world but felt that the light, the positive, could carry greater power and made his decisions bearing in mind that far more benefit can come from positive thought for self and others.

I think, on some level, he carried personal guilt of the decisions and directions of his own earlier days and worked to make amends, to make a difference and to provide hope where such levels of desperation overshadowed all else.   

Through acknowledging his own faults and working to find his place, his direction- he reached out and helped. Saw people for who they wanted to become and worked with them to achieve change. He understood we as a society hold all the tools to repair ourselves if we can only take the steps and time to do so.  

Sometimes I think it is easy to forget we are all in this life together. We get caught up in our own struggles, frustrations and ambitions and lose sight of the fact that there are others who are going through the same.

It is days like today, when the thoughts and memories of my grandfather are so strong, that I am reminded of one of my most important responsibilities as a member of our human society. We could all use help, hope, respect and understanding and I want to be sure the days of my life are spent providing these things and teaching my daughter to do the same. There are too many amazing folks out there for us to not all work together to make greater things happen.